escapism, part 1

There are moments like these. I'm researching a necklace or tattoo or picture frame - something to remember baby by. And then BAM, I stop, put down my glasses, and start crying.

Or a song comes on the radio. Too many songs are about bleeding hearts after a relationship ends, but for me, they all translate to the loss of baby.

Or pieces of a poem flash on the computer screen. i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
Yup, that one hurts most of all.

Or I'm running in the park and I pass a tiny baby sleeping in a stroller.

Gah.

Most moments aren't like that. Nowadays, I don't often let me myself stop and think about what happened. I've found the most excellent coping skill, at least for me, is escapism. Oh yes. Others might throw themselves into work or school or whatever. Nope, not me. I throw myself into the world of geekdom.

I haven't talked about this much on here because I tend to define myself as "mommy" first, but I'm a bit of a closet geek. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm a huge closet geek. Anime, video games, scifi, fantasy - oh yeah, I'm into that.

In college, I had anime posters plastered above my desk and bed. My obsession with anime is really an infection; if you get to know me too closely, or hang out with me too much, you'll probably get sucked into the madness. My husband certainly wasn't immune. I think I dragged him off on our third or fourth date to buy up the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies, and we were probably watching anime soon after that.

Oh-em-gee, that date was sexy, right?

We're currently - or at least, we were until Transformers took over - watching equal parts Dragon Ball Z (oh, shut it!) and Death Note. Oh boy oh boy. Me and DBZ, we go way back. To my high school days, even, when my brother would watch Sailor Moon with me if I agreed to watch Dragon Ball Z afterward. Of course, it only took a few episodes of sweaty men grunting and yelling as they powered up their bulging biceps, and I was hooked.

Why, hello, lover!

Death Note is a sleeker, prettier anime when compared to the older and testosterone-driven DBZ. But it's rather heavy in material and contains little of the humor that DBZ does. The main character, Light, gets a hold of a notebook that allows him to kill anyone whose name he writes in it. With mass murdering teenagers, a young sweet-toothed detective, and Shinigami who started the whole mess because they were bored, Death Note has something for everyone! Just watch this one after the kiddies go to bed.

cute but psychotic. sorry, ladies

It's easy to lose yourself in anime, which is known for its engaging plot and complex characters. Not to mention the pretty of Japanese animation. Let me know what interests you, I could probably recommend an anime that would suit your tastes.

For those brief moments I'm engaged with something like this, I'm not focused on the thoughts that swirl in my head. And that is a precious gift right now!

On part 2 of my ramble, I'll introduce the other animated series that is keeping me preoccupied. Let's just say for now, Autobots, it's time to roll out.

Oh yeah, I totally went there.

I'm a geek. I did warn you.