Or a song comes on the radio. Too many songs are about bleeding hearts after a relationship ends, but for me, they all translate to the loss of baby.
Or pieces of a poem flash on the computer screen. i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
Yup, that one hurts most of all.
Or I'm running in the park and I pass a tiny baby sleeping in a stroller.
Most moments aren't like that. Nowadays, I don't often let me myself stop and think about what happened. I've found the most excellent coping skill, at least for me, is escapism. Oh yes. Others might throw themselves into work or school or whatever. Nope, not me. I throw myself into the world of geekdom.
I haven't talked about this much on here because I tend to define myself as "mommy" first, but I'm a bit of a closet geek. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm a huge closet geek. Anime, video games, scifi, fantasy - oh yeah, I'm into that.
In college, I had anime posters plastered above my desk and bed. My obsession with anime is really an infection; if you get to know me too closely, or hang out with me too much, you'll probably get sucked into the madness. My husband certainly wasn't immune. I think I dragged him off on our third or fourth date to buy up the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies, and we were probably watching anime soon after that.
|Oh-em-gee, that date was sexy, right?|
|Why, hello, lover!|
|cute but psychotic. sorry, ladies|
For those brief moments I'm engaged with something like this, I'm not focused on the thoughts that swirl in my head. And that is a precious gift right now!
On part 2 of my ramble, I'll introduce the other animated series that is keeping me preoccupied. Let's just say for now, Autobots, it's time to roll out.
Oh yeah, I totally went there.
I'm a geek. I did warn you.