playground drama, take two

This afternoon, G and I headed out for a quick jaunt to our closest playground, the one at the library. It was the scene of G's first encounter with a bully. There were several other kids there, mostly older toddlers or pre-schoolers. One set was a mom with a baby in a carrier and her three year old son. Another set involved a grandfather with a 4-5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl.

I started talking with the mom after our boys collided accidentally. No one was hurt, and they both went back to playing pretty quickly. While G was playing, I noticed every once in a while the grandfather would try to instruct one of the two kids he was with. He would say things like, "Don't climb up the slide because that kid wants to come down" or "stop running into the road." For the most part, his two grandchildren ignored him. Most of the time, they laughed at his meager attempts at discipline and ran off.

At one point, I noticed the grandfather's little girl try to pick a fight with the mom's little boy. She shoved him, and the mom separated them. She shoved him again, and he went to shove back, so the mom separated them and herded the boy off to another area to get away from her.

G decided he wanted to go down the curly cue slide. He sat down and got himself all prepped to push off when the little girl came up behind him. She sat down behind G and started pushing, yelling at him to move out of the way. After a moment of that, he started getting upset and just wanted to abort the attempt to slide, but she kept on pushing and yelling. I was standing below them, on the ground, and she was watching me. I told her to stop pushing him. She looked at me, raised her hands, and pushed some more. I told her again, and she lifted her feet, and while watching me, kicked him hard in the back. I rushed to the nearest stairs and climbed up, but by the time I got there, G had run off, upset.

Soon after that, the little girl ran after the mom's son who she had shoved earlier. She pushed him hard, and the mom immediately stepped over, saying that was unacceptable. The girl continued, chasing the boy around the playground and pushing him repeatedly. The boy was crying and yelling, "No, stop!" over and over, but the girl ignored him. The mom called over to the grandfather to do something, saying the girl would not leave her son alone. He verbally reprimanded the girl without even going over to her.

I went onto the platforms to follow G around, and when he ran down one area, the little girl followed. I hurried after him, but I was too late. The girl shoved him hard in the chest and down he went. He sat up, looking at her like she was crazy, and started crying. At that point, I was pissed. I yelled at the girl, who was still putting hands on my son, to go away and leave him alone.

I picked G up as the grandfather walked over, and I just lost it. I said, "She is going around pushing other kids and being very mean. You need to do something other than just standing around. Our kids can't even play!" He didn't even reply. He just stood there looking bewildered.

It took a while to calm G down, and by then, his nerves were shot. He just wanted to go home. He signed for water and pointed at the car, so we headed out. In the parking lot, I met up with the other mom who had also been chased off by the crazy child. Neither of us could understand why the grandfather would just stand there and allow these children to terrorize others. It's not like he wasn't paying attention; he was constantly following them around, verbally trying to instruct them to get of the road and leave other children alone. At one point, he even said they were leaving, but of course he did nothing to make that happen.

I understand that, being a grandparent, this man really might not have known what to do with these kids. Maybe he doesn't watch them often. Maybe they're so out of control that he just doesn't have a clue what to do. But when your child is hurting other children on the playground, you need to physically step in and remove that child. He had two moms complain that the little girl was shoving others, but he just stood there and did nothing.

Frankly, it was just lazy parenting. He didn't want to have to go in and stop them from doing anything. And he was too lazy and ignorant about the whole situation to pack up the kids and leave. What will that three year old be like if you allow her to hurt other people now? It's really not that hard to follow up on your threats, people.

All I know is, as we pulled out of the parking lot, they were still playing there without a care in the world.

playground bully (or, mama bear wanted to punch a face)

To enjoy the break in the slight drizzle outside, G and I headed to one of our favorite playgrounds at our local library. We go here probably at least once a week because it's so close and easy to pop in and out. Plus, G loves this playground. It has wide, open walkways where he can run in a large circle, many slides, and several different sets of stairs. Really, if the place had some swings, it would be perfect.

When we arrived, a father and son were playing with some toy (a slingshot, maybe?) in the empty parking lot. G proceeded to do his thing, screaming happily and running in circles. I tried to engage him in a game of tic-tac-toe, but he became distracted by the boy walking into the playground area. His dad stayed in the parking lot, playing on his phone. The boy seemed to be about four years old, about a head taller than G. He said "hi" to G, and I asked G to say "hi" back - of course, G only waved. He's starting to notice other kids more and more, so he watched the other boy for a bit.

At one point, the boy jabbed a finger into G's chest. Now that I think about it, it was probably to move G away from the top of a small set of stairs that G was standing nearby. G looked at me and back at the kid and back at me, like what was his problem, mom? G didn't seem hurt, so I told him it was okay, to go ahead and keep playing.

The boy went down the set of stairs, and G wanted to follow. G headed down a few steps before the boy rushed back, telling G, "You can't go down these stairs. No stairs. No slides. You can't get on the ground." He said this over and over.

I thought, okay, we've dealt with this before. Some kids get possessive over certain parts of the playground. I told G he could go down the stairs if he wanted. But there were other steps to use to get down as well. I pointed him toward another set, but he felt like being a little stubborn and standing his ground. I wasn't about to discourage him; G is notorious to giving up ground to any kid who even walks past him, so the fact that he wasn't running away was a huge step in the right direction.

I told G to just wait his turn and let the boy get off the stairs first. The boy did, but again, as soon as G tried to go down, the boy would rush back and yell at Grayson. At this point, I was encouraging G to just use another set of stairs and he decided to agree. G started to walk off, but the boy followed, still talking about what G could and couldn't do. He was getting right up in G's face, and G was really started to get unnerved by this boy. I told the boy, "You need to leave my kid alone."

The boy started to stomp close to G's feet like he was trying to hurt him. He was grunting, swinging his arms around, trying to intimidate G. I put my hand up, saying, "Do not touch my kid. If you touch my kid, I will not hesitate to push you away." He continued to stomp and make threatening gestures at my son.

I looked for his father who was oblivious and called over to him. "Sir, you need to come talk to your son. He is bothering my kid."

The man started walking over. "What's he doing?"

"He's not letting my son play. He's being a bully." Yeah, I used the b-word. But it was true. It was bully behavior.

The man looked at his son, who had backed off. "If you can't play nice, we're going to leave." His kid started whining and saying he hadn't done anything. When G tried to go down the stairs again, the boy immediately tried to prevent him from going down. His father (I'm assuming here) stopped him, saying, "Okay, we're going home." The kid took off, yelling. The man said, "Come get your shoe." It was on the steps and he was too large to get it; I actually went and got it for him, eager for the kid to go.

This continued for a while, with the father telling his kid to do something, and his son repeatedly whining and saying no. Once, the kid ran off saying "Don't hit me, don't hit me!" and the father replied, "I won't if you leave the other boy alone." The father eventually gave up, though he did hover nearby on the ground, finally keeping an eye on his son.

G relaxed and began to run in circles along the top platforms. The boy began to chase him, following about half a circle behind but slowly catching up. G would notice and start running faster, trying to get away from him. When G would run over to me, the boy would stop and yell at G to keep running. OMG, seriously!

After a few rounds, G got upset, making the noises he makes when he's scared. He didn't cry, but man, he was close. He came over and clung to my leg, staring at the other boy like he was psycho. I told the boy, "Leave him alone. You are scaring him." His father came over to say basically the same thing and demand that they leave. Of course, the kid refused.

At that point, I held G close to me. Either we were going to leave, or they were. The father eventually managed to catch his kid, hoisting him over his shoulder and carrying him back to the car. The kid screamed bloody murder the entire time he was being strapped into his carseat, and I could hear him still screaming as they drove out of the parking lot and onto the main rode.

Why are some kids this horrible? The boy couldn't have been older than 5 at most, and he was probably more like 4. We've met some pushy kids before, including two I've had to physically block from touching G. But this is the first time I've come across an actual bully. It was like he smelled blood in the water, and as a shark, he was compelled to circle. Or maybe something about G just screamed easy victim. Or maybe he was bored and G was the only other kid around. While his father tried to control his kid, he was mostly ineffective. Following through with your threats when you first make them is kinda Parenting 101. I can't help but blame the parent for at least part of the kid's behavior.

I wasn't sure how to get G to handle it. I've always told him, "Do what you want. Take turns, but don't let someone push you off your toy." But he's just passive that way. At the mall that morning, he asked to leave the play area after some more kids arrived because he couldn't be assertive enough to use the slide. Being passive is just part of G - it's a large reason as to why he hasn't started talking much yet. It's part of his kind and gentle nature.

I don't want my kid to be bullied because he can't stand up for himself. I know it's unreasonable to demand a two-year-old to stand up to a bully, but I won't always be there at his side. I want to teach him some skills now, but how do you do that with a child who doesn't talk? I read something about just teaching them to say "No" loudly, and I'm going to work on that with G.

Our first encounter with a bully broke my heart. I'm glad that I managed to keep my emotions in check, but inside, I was burning with mama bear rage. I had to push aside my angry tears to be strong for G, and to not lose my cool with a kid who was still so young.

What would you do if your kid was being bullied on the playground? Any tips for this mama?

not a baby anymore (or, stop chasing the girls!)

I don't know what's up with my kid.

From what I can gather, his brain is doing all sorts of growing and developing things right now. And it's making him (and me) kinda crazy.

We realized a couple days ago that he'd learned a new word. When the hubs asked him if he could change his diaper, G ran from the room screaming, "No no no no!" He then stood in the doorway of his room, saying "Nnnnoh!" over and over while we giggled at the funny face he makes while he says it. Well, I giggled and Dave did the more manly equivalent.

Yesterday, on the way home from the mall, he babbled the entire way. "Oh, oh, oh, oh." He loves this new sound and practices it often. This new sound is terribly cute, despite the fact that it means he's being more defiant with us.

Plus, he makes this face when he says it. How can you not love that face? I wish he'd pucker up like that when he goes in for a kiss, instead of his usual open-mouthed slobber kiss.

He's trying out all sorts of sounds lately. Which is a huge deal for my kid who at almost 26 months has only a handful of words. The urge to talk seems to be disturbing his sleep, too. He's been waking in the middle of the night with a great big burst of babbling. It freaks us out, but we'll watch on the monitor as he finds his teddy and goes right back to sleep. He does the same thing in the middle of his naps. I'll hear a loud noise of something he just said, look at the monitor and find him fast asleep.

I feel like he's talking. But I'm the one who's the issue because I can't understand a word. I try repeating similar words back to him to see if anything clicks, but I always seem to miss the boat on what he's trying to communicate.

He's increasingly easy to talk to, though. He seems to understand a huge amount of what I say, when I make the effort with my vocabulary. He can follow complex instructions and often knows what I mean without me having to completely spell it out. (i.e. "Put this toy away, please" and he'll put it where it always goes.) You can carry on a conversation with him even though you'll have no idea what he's saying. And while he is increasingly combative and opinionated these days, he's also so so sweet and generous with affection.

Finally, on the subject of weird psychological developments with G - he's started noticing other kids! Before, he'd either ignore them or look at them like they were crazy. He's normally quite standoffish, and it's the worst thing ever if any other kid enters his bubble of personal space.

But this morning, we headed to the playground at the mall. We were alone for a while but then a father with his daughter showed up. She seemed about 4 - a head taller than G and a great talker. G immediately took notice of her and started following her around. If she was up on the slide, he wanted to be there. If she took off through the tunnel, he wanted to go through the tunnel too. When she stopped and smiled at him, he smiled back. I was like, who are you and where is my son who shouts at the kid who gets close? When he wanted to walk past her, he didn't yell, he just kinda scrunched up his body and passed by her.

It was getting close to time to go. I asked G if he wanted a snack and some water. Usually, he'll nod and be ready to go at that point. However, this time he gestured at the little girl, mumbled something, and fiercely shook his head before climbing up the slide to join her at the top. "Mom," my kid had basically just said to me. "There's a girl so we can't leave yet. Oh, and you're ruining my mojo by talking to me so stop it."

When did G turn 14 years old behind my back?

In truth, all of this is so amazing. My baby is definitely no longer a baby. Sometimes, I'm so amazed at how tall he is or he'll surprise me by laughing at a joke because that's what you do - you laugh.

The girls (or boys) can wait, though!

this boy? he cray-zee

Do you ever have one of those moments when you look at your toddler and think, Who are you and why are you yelling at me?

Because I'm having those. A lot.

I have no idea where the yelling is coming from. No one in our house yells, or at least, yells a lot. The hubs and I are both fairly calm people except during football season, and even then the yelling last year was toned down for the sake of our kid's ears. So why does G insist on trying to communicate by yelling? Or both throwing things at the wall, including himself?

He'll yell at random people we meet too. He did this at two girls in Target the other day, and I'm standing there thinking, should I tell them he's just saying hi even though I'm pretty sure he's just yelling at them for no reason? They just laughed at him and moved on, while I pretended I really needed to go down a aisle for dog food even though we have no dog.

Most of the time, he's very well behaved in public, especially to adults. People comment all the time on how good he is, sitting there patiently in the cart while we check out. Sometimes he'll have a snack, and he never dumps his food on the floor on purpose.

And of course, inside, I'm all no, wait, we'll go home and then. the yelling. it'll begin again. When we're out and about, you're only seeing poker-face G who might flash you a smile if you're lucky but at least he's well behaved.

Yeah.

The kid knows what an inside voice is and how to be quiet. If you ask, he immediately drops his tone to something less harsh on the ears. If you say, "ask nicely," when he's whining for something, he'll immediately do the sign for please. But I'm like, c'mon kid, if you know how to ask properly, why are you yelling at me?

I know those with 3 and 4 year olds are laughing at me right now. I hear a lot of, "Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet, hon." And I die inside a little more at the thought of worse. I also know that I'm asking a lot of a 2 year old who doesn't understand most of what he does or half of what I say, and he can't remember where his own elbow is 25% of the time. Like everything else with him, maybe it'll pass soon as a phase. We went through some screaming a while back, and some random crying, and that short period where he rammed his head into the wall. 

Sigh.

But yes, the yelling. I love that my kid has already figured out how to look bashful. When he's been yelling in the other room for a moment, and I go in there to give him my stop that OMG what are you doing in here? look, he gives me that sweet face. Then he'll walk over and give a peace offering of plastic food or my own phone as if to say, here, mommy, some food will calm your blood sugar or maybe you should play Gem Miner 2 for ten minutes to calm yourself down before you start yelling. Yelling isn't nice.

sicky babe is sicky

G caught one hell of a nasty bug somewhere this past week. After a crying session of one and a half hours, and his refusal to eat much of anything at breakfast, I was wondering if maybe he didn't feel well. I mean, he's hit the terrible twos already, but that was kinda ridiculous.

Around 10am, I went to change his diaper and noticed that he felt pretty hot. I took his temp and it was 102.8.

Waah.

Of course, I flew into mama mode. Fluids! Tylenol! Paci! Cuddles! Yo Gabba Gabba! Early nap!

He went down quick for that nap but woke up after only about hour and 15 minutes. He proceeded to demand cuddles and TV for the next few hours. We got him to eat a little pasta and drink a decent amount of milk for lunch, but he wasn't having anything else.

At the four-hour mark for his Tylenol, we took his temp again. 102.7. Sigh. Dosed him again.

He was totally out of it and cranky for most of the afternoon. As he approached the four-hour mark again, he became more lethargic and unwilling to do anything but sit on us. It took forever to get him to stop crying after he got angry at his bucket o' blocks.

That little outburst must have worn him out, because ten minutes later, I glanced over and he was out. This was at about 5pm.

Dave eventually moved to the couch where G slept for another 30 minutes before we woke him up.

G did not want to get up, but we really wanted to try to get him to eat and drink some more before bed. He didn't want any food but he did at least drink some water and milk. Then he kept falling asleep on us before we just decided to go ahead and put him to bed early.

We did take his temperature before dosing him one last time and it was 103.7 and 103.4 a little later. It's scary to see the temp go higher, and especially that high! The highest fever he's had before now was only 101.4. His heart was racing and his body quivering all over. It scared me to see him so sick like that.

We did call our pediatrician's nighttime hotline. The nurse said to keep an eye on him overnight and call our pedi in the morning if he's still running a high fever. Goodie. This means I won't sleep a wink tonight.

He's been tossing and turning in his crib this evening and letting out little whimpers through the monitor. But the hubs just checked on him and he's feeling cooler, so I guess the Tylenol is working. I feel so powerless in moments like these when I can't give him anything but painkiller.

all aboard the tantrum express

Based on my last few blog posts, you may be thinking that life with my almost two-year-old is all puppies and rainbows and kid-snuggles. Well, I can say that while there may be lots of kid-snuggles, there are few rainbows and no puppies at all.

G has decided to hit those infamous terrible twos a month early.

The pic above is what we've been dealing with for the past couple of weeks. G has hit a new low on the tantrum front. Right now, his "preferred method of bitchery" takes the form of the following:

• stomping his feet repeatedly while clenching his hands into tight fists and quivering all over
• screaming, usually just once
• throwing things, usually not at me, but whatever
• running around the house like a mad man
• contorting his body into weird shapes, like with his legs all splayed out and his back twisted
• whining. a lot.
• sitting and crying (see also: hiding behind the couch and crying, and following me around and crying)

I'm currently trying all of the following to see how they work and fit into my "preferred method of parenting aka not killing the kid or causing undue emotional trauma." Not in this order or all at once, mind you.

• ignoring
• acknowledging his feelings
• talking about it
• trying to get him to communicate without whining (see also: my kid doesn't freakin' talk)
• distraction
• putting him in a time out for 1-2 minutes (I've only done this once or twice. The last time I did it was for throwing blocks at me day after day, and he hasn't thrown them at me since.)
• leaving the room
• cuddling

The distraction method still works more than anything with him. When ignoring or talking it out doesn't have a positive effect, I'll start reading a book aloud, which usually causes him to come sit in my lap to read. Sometimes we'll step outside for a moment. Sometimes, when I get really desperate and a lot of time has gone by, I'll pull out some Yo Gabba Gabba.

Most of the time, he does pretty good. I have to say we haven't had any major fits outside the house so far, but I know that'll change. Today, while we were in Party City, he got impatient to leave so he started thrashing about in the cart. I ignored him and told him we would leave soon, and he stopped throwing his tantrum, though he did keep pointing and whining about the exit doors. Usually, once he sees that you're not going to give in, he'll give up. Sometimes, he gets so upset that he'll start crying. I'll usually let him cry for a bit before trying to get him to stop. For one, a good cry kinda helps release that pent-up emotion. For two, I don't want him to think that whatever distraction I offer is a reward for that behavior.

I guess really parenting a toddler means walking a fine line between sympathy and teaching your kid about appropriate behavior. I mean, he's not even two yet. I know that it's difficult for him to control himself. Those emotions he has are big and often scary. Sometimes, after a tantrum, he just wants me to hold him.

I get it, kiddo. Sometimes you just need to thrash it out. His drooling has picked up, and his fingers are often in his mouth, so I'm thinking those two year molars are on the move. He's also been sick lately. So yeah, being a toddler is rough.

And a lot of tantrums are avoiding tantrum scenarios to begin with. Like giving him a toy to play with while I change his diaper.

But that doesn't mean that mama will give him everything he wants just so he'll be quiet. It doesn't mean he gets to throw things or smack his little hands against my legs in frustration. It doesn't mean that this mama will listen to him when he's whining about it.

Unfortunately for G, his mama is as stubborn as he can be.

what does my kid eat?

Getting a toddler to eat can be a tricky thing. G refused to eat sweet potato (one of his favorite foods) for like a month. We stopped offering for a while, then decided to try it again. He gobbled it down like there had never been any problem.

Toddlers are weird like that.

Once G was starting to eat finger foods, we had quite a few battles where he was turning down pretty much everything. Quickly, we agreed that the food battles had to end. G would eat when he was hungry and not eat when he wasn't - there wasn't much we could do about it. We try to offer at least 3-5 foods, and if he makes it clear he doesn't want one, then we don't stress. We simply put it away and move onto the next food. No big deal.

I thought I'd write up a breakdown of what the kiddo eats. With lunch and dinner, we try to offer a veggie, a starch/grain, and a fruit. Sometimes we had some cheese or yogurt. He drinks 15-20 ounces of whole milk a day too, with one large sippy right when he wakes, another large sippy after lunch which he almost never finishes, and a little more after dinner.

For the record, G is hardly interested in sweets. He loves a chocolate bar or pudding, if you can get him to even try it. He might try what you offer but he rarely goes "mmm" and wants more.

We also haven't introduced peanut butter yet. We'll likely try it soon after he turns two.

Breakfast:
Oatmeal with fruit mixed in
Wheat toast with regular or strawberry cream cheese or butter and natural preserves
Yogurt with fruit
Banana pancakes
Cheese omelete
Banana

Snacks:
Cheese
Wheat cheerios
Some kind of puff
Wheat goldfish or baby goldfish 

Lunch and Dinner:
Fruits:
Bananas
Strawberries
Grapes (in moderation)
Pears
Mango
Cantalope (he'll sometimes eat it)

Veggies/Beans:
Green beans with tomatoes
Almost any kind of bean, like kidney
Refried beans in a quesadilla
Black-eyed peas
Green peas
Sweet potato

Starches/Wheats:
Rice (once in a blue moon)
Graham crackers (with no honey)
Sweet potato
Tortillas
Whole wheat toast
Pasta
Cheese ravioli

Meat:
Meatballs
Meatloaf
Shredded chicken in a quesadilla

Overall, I'm pretty happy with his eating habits. We're slowly trying to introduce new foods to eat him to expand his palate. He's always been picky with textures, so he was slow to eat tougher foods. Even now, pears and such have to be really ripe before he'll touch them. He'll sometimes try things, like salad or mac and cheese, eat one or two bites, and then he's done. I can't for the life of me get him to eat a piece of quesadilla that's cut into a triangle - he likes it cut into little squares. Go figure!

I'm sure I'm missing something. I look forward to when I can just fix him a sandwich with a few sides for lunch. Right now, each "course" has to come one at a time. We've tried giving him a plate of different foods, and I think the sensory overload is too much for him. If he doesn't immediately want to eat it, he wants it off his plate.

Like I said, toddlers are weird like that.

I'm 30 going on 50, apparently.

Yesterday, G and I went to the zoo. It was glorious. G walked all over the place, pointing out every sign we passed, stopping to observe people, and generally chatting up a storm. He didn't pay much attention to the animals except the meerkats, like usual, but I'm sure that'll come with age.

We were having a grand ol' time until the zoo started to close, therefore making us have to head back to the car. G pitched the biggest fit when we passed the indoor area and he wanted to go in... again.

"Um, G," says I, "the zoo is closing. We can't go in there."

He points and babbles "dededede."

"Come on, this way." I motion in the other direction. "We have to go home."

G crosses his arms and looks petulant.

I make my voice sterner. "G, Mama said no. We have to go home. Come on."

My little almost 20 month old sits down on the path, firmly planting his butt on the ground. I'm just glad he's not mad enough yet to throw himself backward onto the stones while he's at it.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. It would all be very cute if I wasn't tired and thirsty and ready to go home. "What is this? Occupy Zoo? Staging a sit-in isn't a valid form of toddler protest." Oh, I crack myself up. I walk over, haul him up by the armpits, and settle his almost 30 pounds onto my hip.

He proceeds to cry for the next minute or so until we get back to the meerkats. "Say bye-bye," I tell him. He waves. All is forgotten, especially once we get back to the car and he has a sippy of water in his hands. He was as tired as I was. I had to haul his butt all the way out of the zoo, and the pains in my uterus are telling me I overdid it.

A few hours later, after I sit on the couch for a bit, I go to stand and I'm rather shocked by the pain in my back and thighs. Oops. Right. I'm pregnant. No more carrying a toddler on my hip for long distances. Next time, mama, bring the stroller.

to talk or not to talk

Baby #2 is quickly approaching second trimester (yay). But our first baby - a baby no more - is rapidly approaching two years. Next week, he'll hit 20 months.

Babycenter sent me a 19 months and 3 week update. One of these days, I should cancel these weekly emails as they can kinda make me go crazy. It stated, and I quote: "Don't worry if your child doesn't say much: A vocabulary of anywhere between ten and 50 words is normal for this stage of development."

Whaa? 10-50 words??

G has one. "Moo."

If you ask him what a cow says, or if he sees a picture of a cow, he says, "Moo."

Almost two months ago, we had him evaluated by Early Intervention. In all of his other categories, including speech in terms of how much he understands, he scored high, even high enough to qualify for the 24 month evaluation. She said to call back sometime around 22-24 months if he still was having problems.

Of course, I'm not being all that patient. It's so frustrating to have your toddler only grunt at you when he wants something or babble in a way you can't understand. We received some tips on how to encourage him to speak, such as refusing to understand him even if you do get what he wants, but nothing seems to be working. This is made all the more frustrating by the fact that I'm currently taking a class on how to teach young children to read. We learned how speech is mostly a natural skill learned without actually being taught it, while reading must be taught.

I told myself, well, if I can't teach him to speak, then I'll teach him some sign language. He now recognizes and often uses the following signs: more, all done, milk, and diaper.

More - tapping of fingers together.

All done - holding out both hands with palms up, then turning them palms down.

Milk - squeezing hands into fists.

Cute, right? It's not talking, but at least it's communicating.

I know that his understanding of language is right on par for his age. He picked up these signs pretty easily. But he can't use signs forever. Eventually he's gotta form his lips into the words and really communicate with us.

In two more months, if he hasn't stepped up his talking game, I'll definitely be calling TEIS back. For some reason, our efforts just aren't working. At that point, it'll be time to hand it over to the professionals. I do feel guilty, wondering what about my parenting skills is so lacking that my child won't speak. I'm a quiet person by nature, but when G was born, I stepped up my efforts to talk more. It became habit to narrate actions and name things throughout the day; we also read a ton starting from a very young age.

I can't help the mommy guilt, though.

teething crazies

You know, it's a good thing that we go through this horrible stage called teething when we're young enough to have no long-term memory. Otherwise, how would we live the memories of such pain or the looks of horror on our parents' faces?

G has been an utter bear this weekend. He hasn't wanted to eat much or sleep his normal hours. He breaks down crying at every little thing that doesn't go perfectly his way. Though it doesn't exactly help me deal, I know exactly why he's acting like this - besides just being a normal toddler. His fourth and final molar, of the first set, is trying to break through his bottom right gum.

As I can see from the other side, where the other bottom tooth has broken through all the way, these molars are huge. I'm really kinda taken aback by how big they are compared to his other teeth, especially by the way they cover the entire gum. And when you look at the other side, at the one that's currently plaguing him, you can pretty much see the bulge of the entire tooth just under the gum. Man, that has to hurt. Can I really blame the little guy for breaking down at the drop of a hat?

This will make tooth #twelve for him. He has the front four on the bottom and top, and now has the four molars. No fangs so far, which I've heard can be deadly to cut as well. He's been teething these molars since our Miami trip, which was a month ago now.

Maybe we'll finish with the first molars and fangs just in time to start the second molars around age 2.

Yay.

the want of a child

This morning, we had G evaluated for a speech delay. At the age of 17 months (and 5 days), he has no words. The most he'll say is something that kinda sorta sounds like moo if you ask what a cow says. But he'll turn right around and give the same noise for a monkey or kitty.

Sigh.

We got the answer that we pretty much expected: check back later. His other skills are so high - he tested great for even the 18-24 range - that he wouldn't qualify until later. Basically, we're supposed to check back at 20-22 months if he's still not saying anything.

Anyway, I was amazed at how quickly G took to the evaluator who came to our house. He can be quite poker-faced with people he doesn't know, but he was showing her his dimples in a matter of minutes. I think she was quite charmed by him. As she was leaving, she called him a rather "pleasant" kid, and yes, he is actually very pleasant most of the time. We get comments all the time about how well behaved he is. Sometimes I do want to scoff that they're lucky to see him when he's having a good moment, but really, G's bad moments are really not all that bad.

I've gotten a bit off track, as my main point of this post was that I've come to realize that my kid is an actual kid now. And what I mean is that he has feelings. I don't think babies have much in the way of feelings when they're tiny. You can hurt them in the sense that they won't feel secure where they are - as a small baby, G hated being passed around among people he didn't know - but I wouldn't say you could hurt their feelings like you can that of a child.

Sometime over the past few months, I began to notice G's feelings. And I must say, he's a bit of a sensitive soul.

If anyone ever calls my kid a wuss or makes fun of him (or worse, calls him a girl, because crying =/= girl) for crying about something, I will punch them in the face. Seriously. But that idea isn't even what I mean.

You look at that little face, and you just know there's a whole lot going on in there. He can give that poker face like it ain't nobody's business.

And of course, like any toddler, he's fantastic at the look-how-pitiful-I-am-because-you-can't-pick-me-up-right-this-second face.

I actually feel kind of bad for snapping that picture. But I was replacing the card in my camera, so I had it in my hands anyway, and he was being so absolutely ridiculous that I decided to save the whiny face image for when he's older.

Oh, my grandbaby is giving you a hard time? Well, take a look here, G. See what you put us through when you were tiny? That toddler phase is totally normal.

Ahem.

The evaluator from the state, he took right to her. He tried his hardest to build a tall tower of tiny blocks to show off his skills. When he accidentally knocked them over on the seventh block, he jerked his eyes to look at her reaction. "Uh-oh!" she said, meaning it in a nice way. But his little face just crumpled up and his lower lip trembled. He wanted her approval so badly, and I really think he got upset that he'd failed her. He didn't cry, but he did later when she had to quickly take some raisins away from him. I saw it coming, that he'd try to eat them instead of put them in the little container like she wanted. And his crying wasn't a pissed off because you took something away cry. It was much more of a you hurt my feelings cry.

A few days ago, another toddler pushed G down at the playground. The other toddler couldn't have been more than a few months older than G. Definitely under two. G was a little taller than him, but he seems to have a bit more skills. The kid took two steps toward G, lifted both arms, and shoved G right in the chest. G fell backward but didn't hit his head. I was too stunned to do anything but pick my kid off the floor and comfort him. If I'd had more of my wits about me, I would have said something. The toddler's parent was right there and never said a word.

Grayson was just stunned. You could see the shock all over his face. He looked at the toddler with a clear question on his face - why would you do that to me? Then that lower lip came out. It doesn't very often, and it's almost always tied to G's feelings. I can't ever get a shot of the pouting lip because I'm always much more focused on the comforting. If the lip is out, G needs it. You could literally see him pull himself together. He cried for a few seconds, a heart-breaking wail, and then he straightened himself up, brushed me off, and went on his way.

For the rest of the time on the playground, whenever the kid came close, G would stop and watch him. He always wanted to know where the other toddler was. The trust was broken.

I'm not sure if this is even justified, but I hate that even more than when my kid gets physically hurt. A bump on the forehead because he fell into the coffee table is one thing. Those mend. A few seconds later, he's forgotten about it. But he remembers how he felt about something. The hubs says the next day, when G went to another park, he was watching the other kids more closely.

G rarely pays attention to other kids unless they physically get in his way. Then he might point to where he wants to go. He did that when I was watching him at the same playground where he was pushed down. A girl was blocking some stairs. He stood, he paced, he pointed and grunted at her. She just stared at him. I didn't press the issue since there were other stairs to explore, and he eventually gave up and left. That's G for you. He won't push you out of his way. He'll try to squeeze past you, in more of a oh hey, can I get over there? way.

Mom told me that later I might have to deal with G getting stepped on by other kids. You know, the "stand up for yourself, kiddo!" conversation. And I say, I'd rather have that conversation than the "stop punching other kids, kiddo!" one. I mean, really.

Besides, G has plenty of opinions of what he wants and doesn't want in life. He has a pretty clear idea of those and lets you know about them when he chooses to. But with other people, at least for now, politeness seems to come first.

And I admit it, that thought just makes me all puffed up with pride.

baby's first emergency room visit

Yesterday, we went to the zoo.

We go to the zoo a lot. We usually let G walk around at his leisure, and he usually heads straight toward the playground. Nashville's zoo has the largest community-built playground in the country. And it's definitely large.

I'm kinda in love with it.

G is just getting to the point where he can explore the area. He can even walk up some of the steps by himself as long as he has something to hold onto.

Toward the end of our visit, he indicated that he wanted to go down one of their many curly tube slides. It looked like this:

I had gone down many slides with G. I knew to watch out for his feet so they didn't get stuck. But the confines of the tube slide were tighter than I expected. We curved to the right, but G's left foot stuck to the side of the tube.

I swear his leg didn't even move that much, but he cried out. Then he started crying the way he does when something hurts or when he's scared. However, by the time we got out of the slide and I picked him up, he had stopped crying. In fact, rather quickly, he wanted back down to run around. I put him down, but he almost immediately cried out, stumbled, and collapsed to the ground.

We took off his shoe and sock, check out his ankle. It looked fine with no immediate swelling. We decided to take him to a more level type of ground to test out his walking again. So we did. But again he pretty much wouldn't put any weight on that foot.

At this point, I was trying very hard not to completely freak out.

Being a Saturday, we couldn't take him to our pediatrician, but we did call the after-hours triage nurse, who directed our concerns to the on-call doc. He told us to just go ahead and go to the children's hospital.

I really did lose it then. In the back seat behind me, G was babbling up a storm like nothing had happened.

We didn't have to wait long at the hospital to be seen. I basically had time to pee and that was it. G still couldn't walk on his left leg. He hated everything they did to him - taking his heart rate and blood pressure, looking at his leg, taking xrays. He was on high alert, so anything even remotely off made him cry. The whole experience just broke my heart. All in all, it took about three hours to get there, have xrays done, and get the results.

NO FRACTURES. Thank God!

They said he likely tweaked something a bit. They didn't rule out the possibility of a hairline fracture that wouldn't manifest itself until later in the week. If he's not better in a couple of days, we're supposed to take him to our pedi to get reevaluated. Even on pain meds, his sleep last night was awful. This morning, though, he's been in his normal high spirits. He's walking with a limp, but that's expected. As long as he doesn't get worse, we're assuming he's fine and only bruised up.

I feel so bad for what happened, especially because he was sitting on my lap at the time. I'm swearing off slides until he's fifteen! I know this is only the beginning of what we face with our bundle of energy, but I had hoped this stuff wouldn't happen until he was more of a kid than a toddler, you know?

I really hope he continues to heal. He's certainly in much better shape than he was yesterday. There's no swelling or discoloration, so everything points to a full recovery soon.

Miami Trip, part 3 (the wedding)

On day 4 of our trip, Saturday came along, the day of my cousin's wedding. G's crankiness came out in full force. He made it through the rather long Catholic mass ceremony without a glitch, but he was done by the time of the reception. Plus, our preferred way off Miami Beach was closed right after the ceremony due to a fatal motorcycle wreck, so that threw the reception hours off schedule. Needless to say, Dave and G had to head back to the condo before dinner even started. At least we did end up getting some cute pics of G!

Yes, I'm cutting a molar. What's your problem??

Strike a pose!

This one is my favorite. We're totally getting it framed. Such a handsome little boy! My baby is gone. Pardon me while I weep copiously for his babyhood.

Dave,Grayson, and me with my Cuban grandparents.

My parents with my Dad's parents.

I love my Puso! He had a profound influence on my life when I was growing up. He is still sharp as a tack. I loved seeing him play around with G.

After the ceremony, and after we all made it to the reception, it was time to party! This pic below was the first I snapped at the reception as I was fiddling with my settings. But I love it so hard! That's the hubs with my cousin Steve photo-bombing. Dave was hardly drinking since he had to take G back to the condo early, but you'd never know it from this photo. haha.

Me and my cousins (yes, they're twins).

The happily married and oh-so cute couple!

Most of our photos with G have him in this same position. He just wanted to run around all night long.

Gah, I was so bummed when the hubs and G had to leave, but it was already past his bedtime. I actually would have kept him up later, but he was having serious attitude problems. On the plane ride back home, less than two days later, we saw that he had cut his first molar. It's rough being a toddler! Ah well, my cousins and brother with his girlfriend kept me company on the dance floor - and we danced all night long. It's been almost a week since the wedding and my feet still haven't recovered, the mark of an awesome wedding.

We spent more time at the beach and more time with family the next day, so I'll finish out my series with pictures from last Sunday sometime this weekend.

beating my post-baby body

About a week ago, I joined the YMCA. Again. I used to go fairly regularly in my pre-baby days, especially loving when the hubs and I would play racquetball together. My OB said we were free to continue with racquetball after I got knocked up, but that was until we told her the story of how the hubs had knocked a ball into my stomach and burst open my bellybutton. Seriously. So she banned that idea.

I didn't go much into my pregnancy. I had horrible nausea for the first four months and the swelling set in soon after that. I think I got about two weeks of an actual second trimester, I-love-being-pregnant moment. I did the whole pool thing in the latter months, but that was about it.

So when I got on the treadmill last Friday, I just about died. That's when I decided to try out the Couch to 5k program. I've done it twice now, and let me tell you, it's hard. As in, I'm gonna topple right off this treadmill because my legs will fall off hard.

I'm actually really enjoying it, for all my bickering. I'm sore, but it's that good kind of soreness, the kind that reminds you that you worked out and your body's actually feeling it. I'm just feeling so motivated right now to get back in some kind of shape.

I really want to feel like this:

Though right now I feel more like this:

Or even just this:

The major downside right now is that my kid hates HATES going to the gym daycare. And seriously, I'm only living him for about 15 minutes right now, but he notices I'm gone and just freaks out. He's never been left with strangers before, so I praying that he just gets used to it.

I can't help but feel majorly guilty though. I want him to be all like this when we go to the Y:

Instead, he's all like this:

He really, seriously, freaks out. And when I come to get him, it's all the worse. He'll practically lunge for me and beg me to pick him up, and when I do, he stretches out his hand toward the door and keeps it there until we leave. I make myself hold it together but I just want to cry for making him feel like that.

I'm encouraged by the fact that as soon as we leave the daycare and he realizes we're leaving the Y, he's all smiles and babbles. He's a little more clingy once we get home, wanting lots of kisses and playtime with me, but I'm not seeing any signs that I'm scarring him for life. I guess my only choice if I want to shed these 15 pounds is to just keep going. Maybe he'll get used to it soon.

I hope. For my post-baby butt's sake.