these boobs of mine

My mom stayed with us for over a week after we finally were discharged from the hospital. This is the only picture of me breastfeeding that I'd let her take. ha.

I knew way back when we were just thinking about getting pregnant that I wanted to try my hand at breastfeeding. I wasn't sure at all how it would turn out. No one in my family had breastfed since my granny had my mom... really. I knew it'd be difficult, painful, exhausting, but I also knew it'd be rewarding if I could pull it off.

There are so many resources available today on breastfeeding, even just online. I set out to educate myself as much as possible - Dave and I went to a class, I read every piece of literature I came across, and I sneaked onto forums to read first-hand accounts of successes and failures. I was eager to try my hand... or boob. When G was born, I breastfed him as quickly as I could. He was really a champ at it. Don't get me wrong. We had our struggles and still do. Sometimes it would take forever to get him latched on, especially on the tricky and oddly shaped left nipple. My boobs really hurt, both from the strong sucking (he even surprised our pediatrician at how strong he was) and from the rampant engorgement, which I got from pumping every three hours the day he was under the bilirubin lights for jaundice so he'd have a 3am meal while I was at home trying to get 4 hours of sleep. Whew.

A bit jaundiced here, poor baby.

I'm thankful that I haven't had any major problems, all things considered. I produce a bit too much milk sometimes (oh darn) and I have an overactive letdown, which means my milk can spray several feet away. Most of the time, G doesn't mind. My boobs are huuuuge. I try to ignore this and hope they go down after I wean. I mean really, look.

Still jaundiced here. Sigh.

Also, G has a milk protein allergy. I've been dairy-free for a few months now. So difficult considering how much I love milk, cheese, and ice cream.

Anyway, I'm so glad I decided to breastfeed. My goal is to make it at least 6 months, so only 2 to go. But things are going so well, maybe I'll go longer? Who knows.

Really, the best part about breastfeeding is the milk-induced cuddle nap afterward. I get a vantage point that is difficult to duplicate.

Maybe I'll continue on until a year.I'm not sure if I want to give up these moments just yet. Last night, he didn't fall asleep while eating as quickly as he normally did. Instead, he kept craning his neck back to look up at me, letting his latch go to smile. So terribly heart-wrenching. Makes me all goo inside.