a toddler's love

Grayson has always been opinionated, but lately he's hit a whole new level of how he expresses his feelings. He stomps his feet when he gets frustrated - this cracks me up so hard. He will scream if he's very angry. He's started doing this thing when we ask him to do something he doesn't really want to do; he scrunches up his shoulders, leans back, and saunters over in a very "what, mama?" sour attitude kinda way. My kid doesn't talk, but oh boy, he let's you know how he's feeling.

Best of all, he's by far much more affectionate than I ever thought he might be. He's always been a happy and studious kid, but he didn't exactly like to hold hands until lately. Now he likes to hold hands wherever we go. Oh, the hand-holding - I love it! He'll hold my hand when we walk to and from the car. When we go to the park or the zoo, he doesn't like to go far without me in hand. As a baby, he didn't like having his hands touched, but now he asks me to rub lotion on them or likes to just sit with his hand in mine while we're on the couch.

The last time Dave and I took him to the zoo together, he insisted on walking everywhere with each of us on a hand. You wanna see a puddle of goo? I was a total puddle of baby-loved mama goo.

The kid loves to get hugs, but now he'll throw an arm around your arm or shoulder and actually squeeze back. He'll lay his head on your shoulder or lap for a brief moment. When we're reading or playing with a puzzle, he has to be touching: sitting in my lap, pressed against my side on the couch, or even just sitting there with a hand on my knee.

And the kisses! My favorite has to be the kisses. He'll turn his cheek out for a kiss and peck you one if you ask. Sometimes, after kissing one check, he'll whine and point at the other, wanting to kiss you on the other side too. The kid has no sense of personal bubble space, so if he's standing close to me and I'm sitting on the floor, I'll often end up getting kisses like he just can't help himself. And every so often, he'll grab my face and plant one on me again and again, and I'll laugh and push him gently away, because dude, I don't want to make out with you, okay?

I love how, every morning after he finished his sippy of milk, he slides off his daddy's lap and runs over to me. He climbs the couch and throws himself into my arms, laying his body against mine for a brief moment of cuddles. And if you try to stop him from doing that, he pitches a fit. He's gotta have that mama moment, every morning, just like that.

I have no doubt that he won't always be this cuddly. Because, you know, I don't think it's appropriate for a 14 year old boy to curl up in his mama's lap. Ha. Eventually, he'll stop wanting to hold hands. Even now, sometimes I'll let go of his squishy little hand and prod him forward, because the kid's gotta make it out on his own eventually.

I feel his love for me stronger than ever. He can't say "I love you." Not yet. But he shows it every day. And hey, most of the time, I don't mind if he feels the need to have me right there. Sooner than I will like, he'll let go of my hand on his own.